Review: Jonah Hex

Grade: D-

Jonah Hex was a civil war soldier fighting for the confederacy but informing on them to the North. When his general, Quentin Turnball, finds out, he kills Jonah’s family in front of him then burns the side of his face. Jonah almost died but was brought back by a Sioux Indian medicine man. As a result, Jonah gained other worldly powers; he can talk to the dead by simply touching them. When Hex hears that Turnball is dead, he decides to take up bounty hunting for a living. One day, it is discovered that Turnball faked his own death and is currently building a weapon capable of reducing nations to rubble. The president calls on Jonah Hex to find Turnball and stop him before he attacks Washington D.C. on the countries Centennial celebration.

Well, after seeing this movie I completely understand why Warner Brothers have all but completely ignored that this movie was coming out. They hardly advertised for it and they didn’t even submit it for ratings until about a week or so before its release. This movie is, simply put, not good. It is obvious that they rushed the story because it is uninteresting and feels pretty forced. Also, you can tell that the actors really didn’t care about the roles they were playing as it really seemed like they were just reciting the lines given to them. The only positive I can think of for this movie right now is its runtime of just 80 minutes. So shortly after it starts, it is already almost over.

The cast is the reason I actually though this movie was going to be decent, too bad they let me down. Josh Brolin (No Country for Old Men, Milk) played the titular role of Jonah Hex. Hex is actually a very interesting character and this could have been a really fun and new take on westerns and Brolin could have been great in this movie. Brolin wasn’t necessarily bad in this movie, the writing was, and he can’t help that. John Malkovich (Burn After Reading, Being John Malkovich) played the main villain in the movie, Quentin Turnball. What I said about Brolin goes for Malkovich too, he can’t help that the writing for his character was terribly cliché and just plain bad at times. Megan Fox (Transformers, Jennifer’s Body) plays a prostitute, Lilah, the only friend Jonah seems to have. Fox has never been a talented actress and the only thing she’s good for in this movie is something to look at. The rest of the cast includes Will Arnett, Michael Fassbender, Micahel Shannon, Wes Bently, Julia Jones and Aidan Quinn.

I definitely have to say skip this one, or if you really want to see it, wait for DVD. I really think that the only good part about this movie is that it is so short.