Saturday, August 28, 2010

Review: The Last Exorcism

Grade: D-

Reverend Cotton Marcus is an evangelical minister. He loves his job and has believes greatly in god. However, he doesn’t really believe in the devil so much. He used to perform exorcisms in a regular basis but has decided to stop doing them because he just doesn’t believe in them anymore. He decides to allow a camera crew to tag along and document his last exorcism so he can show how he fakes them and hopes to expose all exorcisms as frauds. However, when he gets to the Sweetzer farm and performs his fake exorcism on the daughter, Nell, things begin to get a little strange. Cotton is determined to prove that her possession is a fake but is beginning to question if it is.

Why do people keep insisting on making more exorcism movies? Every year we get at least one more and I can’t explain why. Every exorcism movie is exactly the same as the one before it; I have never seen a single one introduce anything new. This one is shot like a documentary and is probably the most boring exorcism movie I have ever seen. Nothing, and I mean nothing, happens for the first 45 minutes to an hour. Then finally a couple random somewhat weird events occur but it’s all still pretty slow going and they do a horrible job of trying to build suspense. The movie hits the usual exorcism queues; weird noises coming from the bedroom, speaking a language she does not know, vomiting, wall/ceiling crawling/walking and of course seemingly unnatural body contortion. Like I said, nothing new. Really, the only mildly interesting and entertaining part of the movie was the last 5 minutes of the movie, which if you pay attention was actually predicted earlier in the movie, which almost made the ending funny instead of creepy and/or tragic. The only somewhat decent parts of the movie are the scene where Cotton Marcus shows how he fakes an exorcism and that last 5 minutes of the movie. The rest of the movie is almost painful to get through because it is uninteresting, slow going and it’s all been done before.

I will admit, Patrick Fabian, who plays Cotton Marcus, did a pretty good job with what he had. Another decent part of the movie would was Ashley Bell, who played Nell Sweetzer. Bell did the best she could with the horrible writing she was handed and came off rather creepy at times but was unfortunately funny at times where she was supposed to be anything but. That’s not her fault though, that is the fault of the horrible writing and direction.

My recommendation is that you under no circumstances watch this movie. Spending $10 on this movie is the only thing about this movie that scares me, and is the only thing that will scare you about it, so please, don’t waste any money ever on watching this movie. Also, even if you can watch if for free, this is 90 minutes of your life you will never get back, so skip it. Spend that 90 minutes doing something more entertaining and well worth your time, like banging your head against a wall.

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